🎤 Opening Bit: “Tech’s Hot and so Are We!”

Hey everyone! Great to be here! So, did you hear ChatGPT had a meltdown yesterday? Pause your prompts, folks—its servers went on strike. Users couldn’t get AI therapy for their existential dread. Thank heavens, it’s back up… because clearly some of us need daily reassurance our search histories are still valid.

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🤖 AI & Cloud Comedy

Nvidia’s setting up an industrial AI cloud in Germany—because apparently, when Germans do beer and cars, now they do AI too. You gotta love it: industrial-grade chatbots that say “Wunderbar” with 100% accuracy. reuters.com

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🎮 Gamer’s Gasps

Nintendo’s new Switch 2 smashed records—3.5 million units in 96 hours. Those Joy‑Cons flew off the shelves faster than me dodging my responsibilities! en.wikipedia.org+2reuters.com+2abcnews.go.com+2

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📱 Mobile Mayhem

Android 16 dropped today—complete with Material 3 UI, Gemini AI buddy, and even USB port blocking (your mom’s dream?). Finally, a phone that judges you for using public USB chargers. indiatimes.com

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🇨🇳 Huawei’s Homecoming Tour

Huawei launched the Pura 80 series in China—Pro, Pro+, Ultra—all the bells and whistles, from XMAGE cameras to… radio silence on chip specs. That’s like launching a car and forgetting to mention the engine’s inside. reuters.com+1reuters.com+1

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🚗 Tesla Robotaxi: The Ultimate Uber?

Elon Musk says Tesla’s robotaxi service is rolling out June 22 in Austin—just in time to get you from brunch to burnout without a driver. Final boss level for Uber: “No tipping… just… driving?” Court’s out. timesofindia.indiatimes.com+2abcnews.go.com+2nypost.com+2

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🚀 Space Tech IPO on Stage

Voyager Technologies, some space-and-defense outfit, raised $382.8 million in a U.S. IPO. Either they’re launchin’ rockets… or six-figure dinner parties for tech bros wearing hoodies. Probably both. reuters.com

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🛡️ Honda vs. Humor

NATO’s got a new Science & Tech Strategy and I’m like: NATO, what are we building? Battle bots? Self-driving tanks? Super‑intelligent missile launches—you know, for fun? nato.int

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💬 Bonus Round: Scam Alert!

Apple’s iMessage is apparently being used by scammers for sextortion scams targeting teens. Because nothing screams “I trust this app” like someone blackmailing you with your own emojis. Stay safe out there. wsj.com