🔬 2,800‑Year‑Old Royal Tomb Unearthed in Turkey
Archaeologists have opened a tomb near the homeland of King Midas — yes, the guy who turned things to gold, not the guy who insta‑named all his beer cans gold. Talk about living up to your reputation — archaeology really digs that pun. gbnews.com+1livescience.com+1

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🌊 Hidden Ancient River Beneath East Antarctica
Under two kilometers of ice, scientists discovered a 34‑million‑year‑old river world bigger than Wales. It’s basically Antarctica’s secret underground theme park — minus the roller‑coasters, bites, and overpriced cotton candy. timesofindia.indiatimes.com

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🦠 New Bat‑Derived Virus Pops Up in China
Researchers found a new virus called HKU5‑CoV‑2 — yes, even virologists are out here naming things like a Roomba with 95 model variations. It’s harkening back to 2020, because apparently Mother Nature likes sequels. businesstoday.in

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📶 iPhones Now Get Starlink Internet via T‑Mobile
In a plot twist nobody saw coming, Apple—once dismissing Elon Musk’s satellite internet with a “thanks, but no thanks”—now lets iPhones sip data directly from Starlink over T‑Mobile. It’s like Apple finally admitted, “Hey, chocolate-covered bacon is kind of great.” timesofindia.indiatimes.com

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🌡️ NOAA Fully Staffed with Forecasters & Scientists
The U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration told Congress it’s now fully staffed — meaning the only thing left to forecast is whether budget cuts will surprise them next. “Fully staffed” now, “fully nervous” maybe later. aol.com