🎙️ Tech News Headlines

1. Recycling gets literal pyro-osis

BlueAlp’s CEO dropped the mic by saying they can now recycle multilayer plastic into high-quality pyrolysis oil—basically turning your chip bags into liquid gold. Who knew saving the planet could be so… greasy? geekwire.complasticstoday.com

2. Sundar Pichai names the new Google CEO… to a transformer

Yes, you heard right: the future Google boss might be an AI sidekick. Picture your CEO and ChatGPT tag-teaming over coffee—giving “pain points” a whole new meaning. timesofindia.indiatimes.com

3. FDA approves AI boob whisperer

The FDA just greenlit an AI tool that predicts breast cancer risk. Finally, an AI that tells you something when you ask, “Am I fine?”—and doesn’t get offended. wfin.com

4. Claude’s ex gets dumped

Anthropic pulled Windsurf’s access to Claude. Apparently in AI relationships, it’s “It’s not you, it’s my model.” techcrunch.com+1geekwire.com+1

5. Electric vehicles might stop carpool karaoke

CATL rolled out a new battery that charges faster and lasts longer—ensuring your road-trip playlists last even after the power does. hindustantimes.com+1tweaktown.com+1

6. Holy hot console, Batman!

Nintendo Switch 2 shattered records with over 3 million units sold in 24 hours. That’s less time than it takes me to decide on shoes in the morning. tweaktown.com+1geekwire.com+1

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Bonus Laughs from The Verge

• Webcam hack alert: People are hooking their phones to a Switch 2 as webcams for about $30—beating official accessories harder than your mom beats you in Mario Kart.
• Joy‑Con déjà-vu: iFixit says the new Switch’s Joy-Cons might stick to the same drift issue. Shoutout to therapists: your services are back on the table.