🟢 Tesla Stocks Bounce – But Elon’s Still Sassing Trump
Tesla shares rebounded after a sharp $152 billion sell‑off triggered by the Musk–Trump showdown, yet a real “truce” remains as fuzzy as cancel culture.
“It’s like two exes posting passive‑aggressive statuses—on the NYSE.”
reuters.com+1fortune.com+1wsj.com+2reuters.com+2reuters.com+2
🧠 Meta Eyes $10 Billion Bet on Scale AI
Meta is in advanced talks to shell out over $10 billion to invest in Scale AI—because why run targeted ads when you can run the whole AI circus?
“They’re spending so much even Mark Zuckerberg’s AI bot needed therapy.”
✈️ Boeing Poised to Resume Deliveries to China
After cooling trade tensions, Boeing is preparing to send passenger jets back to China—proof that airplanes might have more travel mojo than politicians.
“It’s like your ex hitting you up again once you get that haircut—awkward but good for your wallet.”
🚗 Auto Industry’s Traffic Jam: Overcapacity Alert
Geely’s chairman warns of global auto industry overcapacity—basically, too many rideable cars and not enough driveways.
“It’s like Spotify running out of storage; too many hits, nowhere to save them.”
reuters.com
💼 US Hiring Slows as Tariff Anxiety Grows
US job growth cools down, with businesses on edge over Trump’s tariff twists, keeping hiring plans in limbo.
“Hiring slowed faster than my Amazon cart before Prime Day.”
reuters.com+1abcnews.go.com+1
🌍 China May Fast-Track Rare-Earth Exports to Europe
China considers speeding up rare-earth approvals for the EU, promising smoother rides for EV battery producers.
“It’s the most literal case of ‘you complete me’ in market supply so far.”
reuters.com
🏭 Rio Tinto in Talks for Aluminium Smelter Bailout
Australia’s Rio Tinto is reportedly seeking government support to keep an aluminium smelter alive.
“This bailout’s so metal, it could shred its own guitar solo.”
wsj.com
📈 Circle Crypto Pops on NYSE Debut
Circle, the crypto company, debuted on the NYSE closing at $83.23, double the IPO price in a single trading day.
“They skyrocketed faster than my heart when I saw ‘low battery’ on my phone.”
wsj.com
🧾 Kimberly‑Clark Sells Tissue Business, P&G and Citi Cut Jobs
Kim‑Clark is offloading its Kleenex and tissue operations outside North America for over $3 billion. Meanwhile, P&G plans to axe 7,000 non-manufacturing roles, and Citi cuts ~3,500 tech jobs in China.
“Nothing dries tears like a $3 billion cash splash—just try not to cry over job cuts.”
wsj.com
🏛️ Euro Central Bank Eases; Fed Watch Shifts
ECB cut rates as inflation cools. Meanwhile, markets are slowly expecting Fed to follow—possibly by September.
“It’s like the world’s central banks are playing follow-the-leader but no one cares who’s it.”
What's the Hullabaloo? 
Leave a comment